Characters
Franklin "Stubby" Mynos
"For a start, Frank wore glasses. Round steel rimmed specs custom made on the south coast of the Hurghian Sultanate to order. He wasn’t blind without ‘em, but man, he needed the help. His eyes were large, as big as twenty twit pieces, and the darkest brown. When he was thinking they’d bore into you, like dwarven drills. He was a bit self-conscious about his horns – they were short and one twisted up and the other went down. His snout was short too and his mouth soft, like butter."
Rysovynn-thael the Enchanted Letter Opener of Yhore
"A three inch letter opener made in an Augheryne broadsword pattern. Fully sentient. Fully powered - an occult laughing stock. It’s just as much work to make the real deal but Istaghass, that shithead, he just had to be a smart-ass. I spend the next five centuries at the bottom of a dwarfish laundry basket."
Bob the Necromancer
"He was a typical spotty faced, gangly teenager. His neck was pencil thin with an Adams apple that made it look like he’d swallowed a dragon’s egg." An adolescent apprentice necromancer that Frank took a shine to. Enough said.
Gertrude "the Grip" Bovine
This cow minotaur kicks high grade butt when she's in the mood (which is most of the time). Frank's real sweet on her. She's not so sweet on him. She's a bouncer and sometime-death pit wrestler with big wide steel-inlaid horns. But watch out - she's also half deaf and wears really girly frilly-type frocks and heaps of make up. Don't laugh at her - it might be the last thing you get to do...
Vappid Reamer, Director-General of the Guilstapo
He's a furry lookin' halfling with all that cute, cuddly, teddy bear resemblence that all those mean little suckers have. Don't buy it! And especially don't buy it with this one. Frank and Vappid go further back than I am comfortable to admit right now, but suffice to say, they hate each other's guts. He generally dresses in black "A black suit with a black leather trenchcoat and a very neat black Panama hat over his furry little ears. He had a monocle in the socket of one dark eye. He looked up at Frank and smiled a smile that would kill the bluebird on your shoulder."
Lieutenant Reginald Hoggwash
"Hoggwash wore a cheap poly-skin suit that didn’t fit his shoulders. His tie was stained and short and frayed at the end. But for MAD, the City Watch's Magi-crime Analysis Division, he was Mr. Style."
Tony (a fey taxi driver)
"Tony weighed at least three hundred pounds. He had five rolls of stomach, three chins and bright yellow hair, the kind of colour you see on candy canes. He could eat enough to feed a family of five for a week in one sitting, and anyone fool enough to try and out drink the guy, soon found themselves either mistaken or in an alcoholic coma."
"Downright" Badd
A half-ogre muscle-for-hire thug who's into self-improvement, anger managment, holistic well-being exercises, advanced self-esteem therapy and cutting people up for guilders. He's actually not that bad a punk to be around, just as long as you got a clean slate.
Bashful Sonnyson
Bashful was the owner of the Frank's favourite watering hole, the Snout Ring. He'd bought after making his money int he iron mines "Not doing any mining, but playing cards. (Never play cards with dwarves, like I said before, but never, ever play cards with Bashful. His hands were like devils triangles)."
Logan Tightfish, Head Registrar of the Office of the Body Politic Registry.
Tightfish is one strange, plain-lookin' yet complicated punk. "The guy was known to be a living monument, a walking embodiment of all things City. And the City ate humanity. It ate humanity with sympathy sauce and a side order of braised compassion."
Uunda Ghimp
He's a bright green goblin advocate who has his shop set up in Lowton. Trust him as far as he can throw you, or as far as your guilders can throw him. He also dabbles in property investment and occasional illicit goods distribution.
Aarrrg and Oorrrg
"Aarrrg and Oorrrg were ogris brothers who would do anything for guilders, as long as it involved unthinking violence of some sort. They wore studded loincloths and the facial expression of a dead river cod. Two six foot long exaggerated axes, with blades wide enough for a halfling to dance the foxtrot on, sat propped up against the door. They rarely needed them."
Occasionally Herb
Herb was a full blood ork physucuan, and quite a decent one at that (by Lowtown standards). He was also manic-depressive, paranoid, and had at least seventeen personalities, not all of which knew Herb was a physician. Like Pendalby, the gnomic butler to King Ysmann the fifth of the Lost Kingdom of Zagg or Dame Nellie Sutherland, the Huprah Diva... He had a sign around his neck with 'The Doctor is In' on one side and 'The Doctor is Out' on the other. If you saw him change, it was your civic duty to flip the sign.
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